Happy Halloween
Waiting takes forever.
Here I sit, at my computer, just waiting for a knock. The outside light is on, the candy by the door. I’m wearing my new black velvet trousers and a black T with a small, sparkly jack-o-lantern. I am ready.
I have been ready for an hour. No knock yet.
It’s not like I don’t have anything to do – I’m obviously online. I am also eating a healthy dinner (pasta and vegetables) after my lunch of salad, candy, and cupcake. Breakfast consisted of cake.
Man, I love Halloween.
Everything turns upside down. Kids walk around the streets in the dark, knocking on doors, taking candy from strangers. It’s okay, though, because they’re pretending to be someone else.
Despite the free-for-all that is Halloween, I have rules about the holiday. Okay, so, I have rules about everything, some more faithfully followed than others, but I always adhere to rule number one about Halloween. Don’t date a guy you meet on Halloween.
Think about it. Is he in costume or a really bad dresser? Even if he’s in a great costume, you will forever look at him and think “Huh. Ed Grimley.” Great costume but who wants to walk down the aisle thinking, “I should have bought him a triangle.” Besides, you don’t know how he dresses in real life. I dated a kickballer named Tex. I only saw him in uniform until our first date. I figured out real fast why he was named Tex. Huh.
This year, no parties for me, though, and no fear of mistakenly falling for Mr. Clean instead of Mr. Right. I was invited to a party Friday, but my friends are hot and I didn’t want to feel bad about myself. On Saturday, I hit a bar, but didn’t dress up. I am a purist. I only dress up for bars on Halloween. None of this October 29 in costume crap for me.
A friend of mine recently asked if we could hit some of the DC “hotspots” looking for fodder – bars for me, boys for her. I agreed with one basic question, “Can I dress up as a superhero?”
I figured it would be okay. Everybody else dresses up and pretends to be something that they’re not. I’d just be a little more obvious. Or maybe I wouldn’t. I am not so sure that people would notice.
As I type, I am losing my train of thought. I swear that I can hear people on the steps outside, going upstairs. They are hitting my neighbors in the “grown up” part of the house, but my semi-subterranean door remains unknocked. I surf the channels looking for a good Halloween hit – the Great Pumpkin, Halloween, Scary movie, but see only SpongeBob, Phil of the Future, Scary Godmother – not even a special 7th Heaven.
I think I need to don the superhero costume and hit a bar. Anybody want some candy?










